Loving Someone's Girlfriend

so here is my story,

dulu. aku pernah sayang orang yang dah ada bf. i met her around past few years. we contacted thru bbm every single day. on the phone every single night. we confessed our feelings. and thank god our feelings were mutual. and after few months being together, i figured it out that she actually has a boyfriend. i mean, dia pun satu. dia tak pernah cakap dia ada bf. and i believed what she told me. after few months being together, baru dia bagitahu dia sebenarnya dah ada bf. and i cried every night thinking why i am such a fool.

and weird part is, aku tak marah. sebab i really love her. having her by my side is enough. dia keluar dengan bf, aku tak text. bila dia bosan baru dia cari aku, call aku, text aku. it hurts so much. i cried so much. sakit bila nampak gambar dia dengan bf dia. at the same time, aku rasa aku memang tak boleh bersama dia. bila aku stalk dia, aku yang sakit. aku rasa macam orang paling bodoh dalam dunia.

so i choose to ignore her for few months. because i wanted to move on. and she contacted me back on first day raya. asking me for a forgiveness and stuff. aku pun maafkan dia. yang lepas biarkan lepaskan.

so kami jadi kawan. yes kawan. tapi dia still macam dulu. can't stop calling me sayang and stuff. it kills me every single time she did that. i will ended up crying so hard because i miss her. and it breaks my heart because right now we are just friends. and she still want me back. not as a friend. but as a lover. 

tell me how can i move on when she always called me sayang? wanting me back as her lover?

but when i asked her to choose me over her boyfriend. she didn't want to. it's ridiculous.

when i am trying to leave and forget everything we have. she convinced me that she will leave him. but no. she didn't leave him. i know that she loves me and her boyfriend equally. she said that. i don't know. but i really love her to death and i was afraid to lose her but i choose to forget her and just move on.

when i am actually on my away to forget her, she texted me, she called me. telling me that she missed me so much. i didn't react. because god knows how much i am hurting that time. i am in love with someone' gf. she has boyfriend. and why the fuck i am doing with her? why i am such a fool? love makes me stupid.

i asked her to appreciate her boyfriend. go back to her boyfriend. but she didn't want to. i asked her to choose me over her boyfriend. but still, she didn't want to. it hurts. because i have future plans with her. but now she broke my heart into pieces because she didn't know how to make bold decisions in life.

we love each other so much. i am happy when i am with her. she is happy when she is with me. but still she is deeply in love with her boyfriend. and afraid to to figure out what is best for her. she didn't want to choose.

and yes i choose to rid of my feelings for her.

it's crazy to love two person at the same time. it's a crazy thing to do.

i learnt that happiness never lasts. i gotta let her go. at some point, i have to.

i should respect the other dude and keep my distance. 

you can't help who you love, just don't make her cheat on her boyfriend.

there is a saying, "all is fair in love and war".

if you can keep her with you is another story. 

if she can leave him for you, she can just as likely leave you for someone else.

so, is it ever okay to fall in love with someone else's gf/bf?

yes, it is ok. It happens to the best of people. feelings aren't really under our control. they are not right or wrong, they just are. what we do have control over is our reaction to our feelings. some reactions are healthy (i.e. keeping appropriate boundaries between yourself and a girl who has a boyfriend or a boy who has a girlfriend) and some reactions are unhealthy. you seem to already know how to excersise good judgement in this situation. 

i have no idea if that girlfriend/boyfriend relationship is serious or not. you have a better understanding of that than I do. one thing is for sure, a boyfriend is not the same as a husband. they haven't taken vows. there is always a chance things could be quite different in the future. i wouldn't intrude into their space though, as long as they are still a couple.

but still stealing a person's gf/bf of course is a bad thing. why don't you put yourself in the situation before doing anything. would you like it if someone come between you and your gf/bf? i don't think so. i know sometimes you will fall for a girl/guy who already have a bf/bf but it doesn't mean you should steal someone else bf/gf.

i think it's bad to steal another guy's gf. If the girl likes you more than the other guy, then she needs to break up with her current bf first. if she went out with you before she broke up with the other guy, she is cheating on that guy. and what makes you think she won't cheat on you? ask yourself.

and yes ways to forget someone's gf/bf. (if you wanted to)

accept the reality of it, dia mungkin bukan untuk kau. kau mungkin bukan untuk dia. you tried your best. moving forward, ignore that person, forget that person (even it's hard like hell) & move on. don't listen to sad songs, tak payah dengar lagu sedih for the time being. you will miss that person even more. go out and have fun  with your family and friends. of course. make yourself busy. don't cry over someone who doesn't love you or like you. easy. stop stalking, tak payah stalk dia lagi. or else you will get hurt. if you think about that person - think about another person! don't call or text.

go listen to music, hangout with your friends, have a good time, stop dwelling on your past, there are billions of people n in the world, one tiny fish in the sea is not going to make your life worse, you have to be confident in your self and realize that you have the guts to move on. wasting your time with that person is going to make your life worse, realize that that person is nothing anymore, find a new best friend, never regret yourself that you loved that person, don't think that you're failure in love & be happy.

and yes, at the end of the day, it's her/his choice who she/he wants to be with. she/he will breakup with his/her bf if she/he feels that she/he will be happier with you. don't lose hope. give it a shot, if you fail, then leave.