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orang cakap kalau ada peluang depan mata, ambik.
jangan fikir dua kali. cuma ambik peluang yang ada.

tapi lumrah manusia, sentiasa nak yang terbaik.

sampai kadang kadang lupa, yang depan mata lagi baik.
lebih menjaminkan. lebih membahagiakan. lebih tepat.

kata dia, bukan memilih, cuma mahu yang terbaik.

betul lah, ada pilihan dalam hidup.

tapi kadang kadang pilihan ni kita salah, tak tepat.
sebab tu kena minta pendapat. kena fikir semula.

tak apalah, mungkin terlepas peluang.

cuma lepas ni belajar, ambil peluang yang ada.
jangan sia-siakan. peluang tak datang dua kali.

tak kisah lah dalam bercinta ke, business ke, belajar ke.
peluang itu rare orang cakap. jadi sentiasa rebut.

A learning process.

hello, it's been awhile.

i've been busy with studies. i am already on my second year of degree. my degree years are full of ups and downs. i've been faced all the struggles and alhamdulilah i am doing well at school. i just wanted to do well this time. i've had enough of listening people saying that i will fail in life. i need to prove them wrong. all these years, i've been so weak. this time, i want to grow.

ok here's the story, 

last February, i met someone online. i didn't expect to fall in love with someone especially online but somehow i am truly amazed with her personality. and she is 8 years older than me. i am turning 21 years old this year btw. but age means nothing. love wins. decided to met her and everything we went well. four months we are being together and i feel unlimited happiness when i am around her. and i thank God for letting her came into my life. just right in time when i feel lost, empty and broken.

i learnt so many things from her, one thing is PATIENCE.

why patience? when i am with her i can say that i am being childish. i am being immature. i am full of ego. and i want things to be done quickly. but she taught me to grow up, act like a man, and expect less. sometimes we just have to be patient because not everything will go in our way. and we couldn't let anger get the best of us. there is a time i get grumpy because of late replies, she will get mad because i should be understanding of her condition. she has commitments. and i am just being immature. there is a time i am being grumpy on purpose, i want her attention. but she will slowly explain this and that to me so that i won't do the same mistake again.

there are days i am losing my patience and she let me take all the time & space i need. 

it feels amazing. i never been in this situation where i feel like every day is learning process for me. i learnt about relationship. dating an older woman is not that bad at all. she is experienced in life. whether it's her career, knowledge, relationships or even bedroom ok ni tunggu kahwin haha. she is confident and she can teach me anything i wanted to know. and she is always there whenever i need life lessons or advices from her.  she let me be myself. that's the best thing about her.

and when she is around, i can do well on studies. i don't believe in "being in love makes you lose focus on studies" i believe you can do better when you are happy. that's all.

i am crazy in love, i am crazy over her. i must to admit that. and i just can't deny that anymore.

what about her that makes me go heads over heels for her?

she is willing to accept me at my worst. she is willing to let me love her endlessly. she is willing to do anything to make me happy. she is willing to be there through my fat & thin days. she doesn't care about what people think of me. i am enough for her. she never failed to make me laugh with her corny and stupid jokes. her sweetness.

her smile. her laugh. her willingness to be with me, is what makes me stay from the day 1 till now. we act like lovers & best friends at the same time. she is willing to let me stay in her life and learn about life and so many things and improve as a person. there are times i am being grumpy because of silly things but she is willing to handle me with care like i am fragile stuff and that makes me love her even more.

and i am willing to do the same thing for her.

even i can't do much, but i am trying my best to achieve something great that can make you proud of me. i am trying each day to better lover. and my love for you is growing.

and my advice is, don't cheat. someone who cheats make simple issue become a big deal to someone who tried everything to work things out and make their relationship lasts. relationship needs effort from both ways. not only from one person.

what can i say is that, relationship is a learning process. we made mistakes like everyday. but have the courage to say sorry and learn from your mistakes. you will be improve as a human being.
you will be better in life, studies and so many things. when you learn how to accept that it's always okay to make mistakes. we make and made mistakes. but don't repeat the same mistakes.

ada peluang, gunakan sebaik mungkin. nak jadi orang yang jujur, jadilah. nak jadi orang yang setia, jadilah. nak jadi jahat ke, nak jadi apa ke, jadilah. hidup ada pilihan, and you need to be ready for the consequences for your choice. life has choices. when you are in a relationship, trust is a must. kalau tak ada kepercayaan, buat apa bersama lagi. buang masa. hidup ni sentiasa ada pilihan, orang yang macam mana nak. yang baik ke jahat ke, kita ada pilihan. tapi nak yang setia & jujur, kita sendiri kena jadi macam tu. tak nak lah expect yang bagus, diri sendiri kelaut.

kalau benda tak cukup pun, bila berdua & bersyukur, kita akan rasa cukup.

thank you for all the opportunities you gave to me to let me to get to know you. thanks for believing in me when everyone doesn't and just walk away from me, thanks for putting a smile on my face when i wake up in the morning and when i am about to sleep at night. thanks for being the reason for whatever i am doing right now. thank you for making me stronger than before. and last but not least, thank for staying with me. thank you for what you've done for me. you are my person.

i hope she reads this. because she falls asleep early.
ok here's a thing baby, i love you more than you'll ever know.
i hope you know that i am trying every single day for us.

stay cute bb i love you